Thankful

I have been blessed...this week I was able to see the FOG (favor of God) in multiple areas. It is hard to describe to others but it is a knowing in your heart and spirit that God read the desires of your heart, a need you had whether spoken or not, or just a random act of kindness.

So many people chalk these up to coincidence, karma or fate but I believe these are little moments where God is trying to show us just how much He cares and loves us.

I am thankful that I am learning to recognize them!

Giving

Giving....this is the word I have heard over and over this week. Giving of your time, your resources, your money and of yourself. This is an area I have always felt was a strength. I give my tithe, I give to missions, I try to give to others and yet when I read this in a devotion, heard it in a sermon and listened to it in a meeting this week I felt a little conviction in my heart.

Was I doing all that I could? Did I find myself holding on to something so I could be a blessing for myself? I mean had I not recently gone through some hard times and just reached the clearing financially myself? So with that in mind I have been trying to "budget" and ensure I did not over give or bless someone without planning for it. I mean that makes sense doesn't it? So why would I feel God placing conviction in my heart, I was being responsible!!

Giving extended outside of finances. Was I doing and being there for my friends and family if they had a need. Was I willing to be inconvenienced for someone else? When I heard that small voice urging me to call someone I had not seen or talked to in a while, to send a card or offer an encouraging word was I willing to take the time?

So my prayer is "God would open my eyes to see opportunities before me and open my ears so I can hear him speaking to my heart, and the courage to act".

Sweet Fellowship

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you." Colossians 1:9

Recently I began to earnestly seek God to bring some Godly women of faith into my life. I truly missed having someone I could talk to about the trials and struggles of life who was a believer and could identify with my hearts desire to serve God but could understand my struggles living day to day. I don't know why we are surprised when God hears our prayers and begins to move in our lives....but when He does boy is it awesome.

I recently joined a new community group within my church and have been blessed in just the two short meetings we have had. Our leader Julie has truly been a inspiration and positive encourager in her faith and just as a person. She has a pure heart and while it might be easy to look out the outward appearance of her home, her faith, her career and her family that she has it all, she to has struggles and her stories of trials and elation have blessed me.

And on a more personal level God has brought a true friend into my life at just the right time. Although I have know her for a few years our paths would cross on occasion I did not really know her to the depth that I am seeing today. She is a mighty woman of faith and someone whom I feel comfortable sharing my trials and struggles without the fear of judgment and I know she understands and is praying for me.

The fellowship of other believers and women is so important in our daily walk. I feel so blessed to know that I am building that circle of friends again. I want to be that fortress for them in their time of need and am thankful that God has opened these doors for me.

How do you learn to love?

Have you ever been around someone who has so many insecurities, fears and has been rejected, judged and mistreated for so long they don't know how to accept love? If a person does not love themselves can they love and accept love? How do you teach an adult to give and accept this precious gift? Where can one find the answer?

A person who does not know how to accept love does not necessarily mean they don't want to be loved. In fact, I say they want to be loved more than they can express, they crave love, they look at others and want to have and be free to give and receive this love but it as if they are looking through a set of bars and don't know how to get to the other side. As if they have been locked inside a room for years wanting to get out...but over time they have found safety inside those walls. They know what to expect although they longingly look out the window and want what they see yet do not know how to get it.

A person who does not know how to accept love has unstable relationships, is always looking for someone to validate them, to praise them, to accept them, and tell them they are worthy. Worthy of love, yet if someone attempts to offer this precious gift to them they reject the very thing they crave. Why? How can they learn to be free of the fear of rejection and accept the love that is right before them?

Sunday's are lonely

I don't know what it is about Sunday afternoons that make me very sad and feelings of utter emptiness seem to grip me. Maybe it is after all the excitement of going and doing all weekend that when I wind down and begin to prepare for the week ahead that I realize the emptiness inside?

This weekend was very full of activities, friends, events, going and doing so today as I came home and did the mundane tasks of laundry, checking email, etc. that I find myself feeling alone. Either way it is a feeling that I don't like. Why is it so hard to be alone at times? What is it about myself that I don't want to face? Why am I not content to be alone?

This is something I must examine for myself and will get back with you....

Milestones

over the past two weeks I have been invited to three birthday parties for friends reaching the milestone of 40. When I look at this guys/girls I think wow, are we really at this place in our lives? I remember as a kid thinking that 40 was ancient and that we defined so many things in our lives by ages. If I haven't done this by this time it will be too late and now 40 well it isn't quite so old any more. To each of my friends who have celebrated and reached this place I think of them in terms of highly successful individuals who I have total respect for and I am proud to call them friends.

Happy Birthday Alec, Rachele, and Brian!!

Long Weekend

This has been a totally relaxing weekend. Lots of changes going on in my life and many things just seem to be in a holding pattern or not what they seemed. Sometimes we think we are following God's will only to find that we have no peace and anxiety is our constant companion. But thank God that Luke 3:5 tells us "that He will make our crooked roads straight". That's right even if we think we heard God and we were following Him and then we find out we missed Him; He can make it right again. It is really hard when we go through times like these and trying to understand how you missed God and how easily we get off track. I guess the lessons I learned during this trial is to trust that you do know and hear God's voice and to act immediately on what he is asking you to do. This really tests are faith and trust in God. This is certainly an area that I am growing in.

I have read some great books that have helped me grow spiritually; the most recent by Beth Moore, Get out of that Pit. Wow, was that a timely word. We get into these pits one of three ways 1) we are pushed in by others 2) we accidentally fall in and 3) we willingly jump in. I could relate to each of these as I have been there in all of the above instances and getting out and staying out is something I am determined to do this time.

I am still praying what is God's will for my life and where should I be career, socially, and spiritually. My answer seems to be "wait" which is never the answer we want to hear but I pray that through my wait I get to know God more and find him to be faithful and my relationship will just grow stronger and stronger.