I was at Marshall's yesterday looking for a great deal as all fashionista's do and met a wonderful lady named Linda. Linda and I started sharing our story as I tried on dress after dress with her assistance in zipping, unzipping and providing her opinion. As I shared time with this beautiful women she told me that she was engaged and would be married in 2011. After a heartfelt congratulations I asked Linda why was the date set so far away. As you see Linda was not some young lady she was a women in her mid to late 40's and usually at this stage in our lives a long engagement is not customary. She shared that she was using this time to decide if the relationship would last. Her philosophy was if they made it through the year and a half to the wedding date then she would know that they could make it.
In that moment and with those words, I realized Linda had been hurt and had her heart broken before. Maybe it was the guarded answer, the doubt in her words, the need for some time, a clue or mystical sign that this would last that provoked an all too familiar feeling in me that prompted me to ask...Are you divorced? Yes, came the reply. She went on to share her story of being with his man for years who she thought she could trust, whom she had shared her dreams and found her world crashing down on her in an instant. With one simple word; yes, I felt empathy for this woman and knew the unspeakable pain that was conveyed in that one simple word. We went on to share our stories in greater detail but the barriers that came down in that moment for us both; a sense of belonging, acceptance when you realize there is someone who was just like you, someone who knew what it was like to feel the pain that cannot be uttered in words, someone who did not look at you in judgment wondering what you did wrong that caused this divorce but simply someone who understood that yes, both parties had faults and made mistakes; but you cannot make someone love you or stay if they are determined to leave.
The simple truths that can only be understood by someone who has walked a mile in your shoes. Yes, heartbreak is no respecter of persons. It can come in many forms and to any person. As I reflected on this I was reminded of the verse where Jesus experienced the ultimate pain. Utter rejection by the very people who were His dearest friends.
He was despised and rejected; a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.
He was lied about, He was beaten for crimes He did not commit and He suffered the ultimate shame and humiliation. Somehow, I take comfort in this, it gives me hope and I have cried my heart out to Him. Page upon page of letters, prayers, fears, hurts and pains I have shared with Him. He does understand and He has promised to heal me, to be my comforter and to keep me in the shadow of His wings. Maybe I cannot comprehend the depths that He loves me sometimes and I find myself stuck in that moment of utter abandonment and rejection. But somewhere down deep inside there is a flutter that comes forth and gets stronger each day...This knowing down deep inside that He does care and I can call on Him and He will be there. I can talk to Him about everything and He never gets tired of listening. That's my Jesus! As we celebrate Good Friday may I truly understand and comprehend the depths of this verse in my life.
That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.